Okay so I'm totally NOT live tonight. But I'll write anyway to keep you entertained. Wednesday nights may not be live at all. I have church so I'm not home and ready to write until 9:00 sometimes.
Anyway, let's get on with the tryouts...
They're in Atlanta and let me just say that I don't give a rat's patootie that Ryan is from there. He annoys me the last couple seasons. And Mary J. Blige is the guest judge? Boooring.
First up: Dewone... wow. Okay, he's singing an "original" song. Bad choice. I don't even have words for him. And now he's arguing. Leave.
Mary J. Blige cannot pronounce "congeniality." *sigh*
Keia is cute. Her pants are assaulting my eyes a bit with their brightness. But she can sing. So I'll forgive the pants. I like her. She's through - no surprise there.
Miriam, Noel, and Tisha (with her OBNOXIOUS earrings) are all good and thrown in a segment together.
Jermaine has a sick mom. So I'm assuming he's getting through. Oh okay, he's good. So at least he deserves it. He's TOTALLY changing up "What If God Was One Of Us." And I'm okay with it.
Oh no. No. Christy is on my last nerve. Immediately. She needs to take some downers. Like, now. ARGH!!! Hubby and I are groaning. And she's not good. And now she cops an attitude. Whatev.
Series of rejects. HAAAAA! Including the girl that brought cheerleaders with her for some reason. I don't like cheerleaders.
Haha. Hubby and I are being slightly evil. To the point that I actually WON'T share what we're saying.
Vanessa is... weird. Definitely a country girl. She's not bad actually, just very country. Simon likes her, which I could tell by the look on his face. They're putting her through. Wait, she just said "aeroplane." She'll be fun if only for the fact that I'm going to die at some of the things she says.
Okay, these "dramatizations" helping mock the Alabama boy are stupid. Not needed at all. Jesse is way too nervous. Mary J. Blige is CRACKING UP! Awww, and he not good. Which I totally expected. Why does Alabama get represented this way???
Some more people hearing no.
Just have to throw in, I put my church kids first tonight. I had a chance to go see Jason Castro tonight, but I went to church instead.
Okay, now we have Holly. Who's nuts. Obviously. She's dressed like a guitar. WHY is she singing with the glasses on? I can't get past them enough to hear her voice. She's not bad, but I want to hear her sing something that's not country. Aaaaand apparently I might get the chance because she made it through.
Series of badness. Oh, and it includes a boy singing Britney Spears. ha
Mallorie is good. But she doesn't seem any different than some of the other people we've already seen. She'll go through. Everyone was smiling.
Bunch of people getting through. *yawn*
Nooooooo. Antonio a.k.a."Skiiboski"? What? I'm so confused by this freak show. He has "American Idol" shaved into his head. And he's quite possibly insane. And he runs his mouth far too much. His singing wasn't awful, but he was better than I expected. Ugh. He's creeping me out now. Simon looks HORRIFIED at everyone saying yes. Honestly, I am too.
I'm scared. Carmen and Lauren must have twenty pounds on makeup on their faces. Each. Simon just summed it up for me by saying, "Annoying, annoying, annoying." Lauren isn't good. Period. Carmen was better, but I don't know about fantastic. Wow. Carmen is going through and Lauren isn't. They're going to sit here and cry and hate life because "they're BFFs and can't do anything without each other!! Like, OMG!!!" Ugh.
Another series of bad auditions. Mary J. Blige ACTUALLY said, "Oh my God!!" That's how... interesting they were.
Bryan is a cop. And actually good. They love him.
Lamar. Wow. For starters, someone ran an elfin-sized lawnmower through his eyebrows, leaving stripes. Oh, and he doesn't sing, he yells. Ugh, now he's trying to sing again. And not listening. He's one of THOSE contestants. Kick him out already. Ha, now security is escorting him out. AHAHA!!!! He totally busted out with, "I wish Paula was here." Love it.
I'm confused. Why is there an old man singing? Okay wait, his song is hilarious! He's mocking those tards who sag their pants too low. Mary J. Blige is in tears laughing. It was funny, but seriously? Weren't there enough good people to fill the show?
Okay, that's it for tonight. I'm gonna be dying about the pants song though. I will be laughing out loud when I see little turds sagging their pants from now on. More next week. Ugh, and I just saw that Shania Twain will be guest judging. Boooo.