Let's get something straight here

I never followed the story because I had better things to do. But I'm going to go ahead and throw my opinion out there.

The "pregnant man" who got on Oprah and everything... NOT a man. Sorry people. This is no miracle. It's a woman who wants to be a man. Huge difference.

I give you an excerpt of a New York Times article printed in June:

Mr. Beatie does not have a penis; his clitoris was surgically reconfigured to mimic a phallus. And the person born in Hawaii in 1974 as Tracy Lagondino also altered his body with chest reconstruction surgery, took bimonthly testosterone injections for years to suppress feminine sex characteristics, grew a beard and saw his hairline change. Like many transmen, he chose not to remove his female reproductive organs.

Well look at that. A woman with a uterus and a stretched out clitoris gave birth. So unusual isn't it? Gimme a break. It's ridonkulous that we even give this woman all the media attention we have. That's why this will be the only time I post about this. Just had to express a little frustration at the stupidity about all this. When a man who had a penis at birth gets pregnant, then let's put him on Oprah.

Really Target? Really?

Soooo... I usually love Target commercials. But that could be because I love Target with every fiber of my being.

So imagine my dismay today when I did not enjoy a commercial. I actually was annoyed by it to be honest. Why you ask? Did they offend me? No.

They used the Jonas Brothers to sing the song and star in the commercial.

Really Target?

Now you might be thinking, how are the Jonas Brothers any different than the High School Musical kid? Um, they're HUGELY different. The Jonas Brothers have become ubiquitous. And I don't understand it.

They appeared on Dancing With the Stars last season. Perez Hilton has this annoying obsession with them and posts about them almost daily. They were in that lame-o movie Camp Rock. And sorry, but I just don't get what's so great about them. They're odd looking and not attractive (go ahead and wish bad things on me Angie, but they aren't).

So really Target? You had to buy into the hype and shove them down our throats more??? Ugh. I'd break up with you, but we both know I'll be back. Your dollar bins, your cute clothes, your great prices... *sigh* But you will be sleeping on the couch for a few nights.

I've created a monster

So I got up this morning and I'm just vegging, getting ready to do some dishes when I hear quacking. Really. Loud. Quacking. And peeps.

I walk to my sliding glass door and there's my ducks from yesterday. Mom's waiting (not so patiently) and yelling for me to come feed her.

Greeeeat.

I didn't feel like it at the moment because my pajamas are not... well they just aren't something you wear outside. So I ignored her. She came back three times (that I noticed) throughout the day. I think I have a pet.

So I went out tonight before dinner to feed her and the little ones. Just like last night. At least if I go out at the same time I might be able to establish some sort of feeding time. Are ducks smart enough to figure that out? Anywho, when I went out she only had two babies with her. Now I'm kind of freaking out. If some damn stray apartment cat got the third... well, I have ways to deal with cats. We'll leave it at that. Hopefully baby number three will be back tomorrow. Otherwise I might be just a little bit sad.

And if anyone has stale bread (not moldy) send it my way. Those featherheads finished my tortillas.

Another confession

Hi, my name is Ashley and I am an adult who loves High School Musical.

Laugh, call me lame, do what you will. I tried to fight it, but the movies are just good. I'm a sucker for musicals anyway. No I don't think Zac Efron is in the least bit cute. I just like the movies.

I watch the trailers for the third movie and can't wait for October. I'm going to take my niece so I have a good excuse to go. My mom wants to go with us too. Actually, I'm at the point where I would probably go see it anyway, even without my niece.

So there ya go. I'm one of the old folks that likes those movies.

My ducks are Mexican

Our apartment complex has ducks. There's water features all over the complex and there are a ton of ducks wandering around. Sometimes you have to stop for them crossing the street. When we moved in back at the beginning of May there were ducklings everywhere. I was way excited about this. Who doesn't love baby animals?! The very first night we stayed here we woke up in the morning to hear baby ducks outside. We happen to have a little pond right off our back patio. Of course I was totally stoked to show my nephew the ducks. We feed them at least once when he stays here.

Well, I was disappointed because the babies started growing up and Tim said we probably wouldn't get any more last month. So this afternoon I'm in my living room and I hear the little "peep peep" of babies. I went outside and there was mom with three ducklings! Tiny ones, smaller than the palm of my hand. I promptly texted Tim, who was probably amused at my girliness.




So later they came to visit me again and the mom was being super loud. When I walked outside she swam right up to my patio so I assumed she wanted me to feed her. I went in to get tortillas since they're kind of old anyway and I should find something to do with them.

Well, the mom went to town. See her waiting in the background of the picture below? Every time I stopped throwing pieces she yelled at me. Loudly.



So I proceeded to sit there tearing up the tortillas into tiny pieces. I made some super tiny pieces for the little fuzzballs. The mom was almost up on my patio a couple times, but she wouldn't actually come through the railing.



There's my ducks (as my nephew says) eating their tortillas. They really liked it. So they have to be Mexican.



And here's a closer shot of my babies. I really want to catch the yellow one and keep him in my bathtub for a while. Or just hold him. I'd be fine with that too. I used to carry around the spring chicks at Tim's house too. Because they're just so damn fluffy!



So there ya go, my ducks. If you don't hear from me for a few days it's because the temptation was too great and I tried to grab the ducklings, resulting in some nipped fingers. :)

For wedding guests...

So there was an article on Yahoo about what not to do at weddings, and I just wanted to throw in my own two cents. Go ahead and call me a brat or worse for giving you suggestions on how to behave, but I guarantee you most brides today wish they could tell their guests some of this stuff ahead of time.

1. Turn off your flippin' phone. Seriously. No one wants to hear your phone ringing (even if it's a song at the top of the chart) during the ceremony. Or during the bride and groom's first dance, or any other time. If you're that important, at least put it on vibrate.

2. Pay attention to the names on the invitation. Those are the people who are invited. If your precious "angels" aren't listed, find a sitter for one night. If that's impossible, PLEASE don't call and ask if you can bring them. Please. No bride (or groom, or family member) likes to be the one put on the spot. Just RSVP with your regrets and don't take it personal. Weddings are not circuses, or zoos, or carnivals. Children will get bored.

3. Don't ask the happy couple (or their families) how much everything cost. It's just rude. Speculate on your way home if you must, but don't come out and ask.

4. If you respond that you will attend, please try to attend. Yes, things happen that are beyond our control. But just because you're having a fat day is not an excuse. Being irritated at your spouse for not cleaning the bathroom is also a lame excuse. Just try.

5. Don't try to steal the show. This should be a no-brainer, but I've heard stories. Ladies, leave your white dresses at home. Even black is acceptable now, so there's no reason to wear white. Also, put your boobs away. This isn't a singles bar. Gentlemen, could you leave the jeans at home for one night? Dressing nice is your own little way of showing that you care enough to put in some effort for this huge occasion.

6. Watch your alcohol intake. I know some sloppy drunks. I would be horrified if I had to deal with them at my wedding. Thankfully there was only our semi-retarded black sheep and I didn't have to deal with her. Anyway, just don't drink that much! The only exception to this is if a good portion of the other guests are also wasted. Then no one will notice at least, haha. But really, know your limits. You don't want to end up being "that guy" that groped the mother of the bride. Or "that girl" that tried to make out with the best man in the kitchen.

7. Keep the snarkiness put away for the evening. So you don't get along with some of the other guests normally? Get over it for the night. Think your wedding or your daughter's wedding was prettier/nicer/more fun? Don't say anything out loud. Weddings aren't the place for family drama or catty attitudes. Let the couple have their day without all these issues.

8. This is a "controversial" topic, but I'm going to mention it for the sake of all the brides that think it. When shopping for the couple, buy off their gift registries. Sure there are people who know the bride and groom well enough to get something totally them that isn't on their registry, but you should be absolutely positive they'll love it. And please, when shopping off a registry, turn in the printout to the cashier so the items can be marked. Five sets of baking pans are a bit excessive.

9. This isn't so much a guest problem as it is a suggestion to everyone who knows an engaged couple. Never ask if you're invited before the invitations go out. Just don't. It's awkward if they weren't planning on inviting you. I got some of those (also heard were, "So I'm invited, right?" or "I can't wait to get my invitation."). Do you know how hard it is to be put on the spot? So don't. Please.

10. If there ever is some problem, whether you got married and the couple doesn't know it or you have some other question about the wedding, call or email the parents or couple directly. Don't go through extended family members. I ended up with some nice drama because someone brought something up with my aunt instead of me or my mom.

11. Last one. RSVP. On time. Please! Nothing sucks more than trying to track down the people who didn't respond. I would much rather get some "no" responses than have to track people down all over again. They're stamped and ready to go, so take the one minute to check yes or no and choose your meal. Thanks.

So there ya go wedding guests. Don't pull a party foul.

A Ph.D. in Horribleness...

So if you're one of the cool kids, you've seen Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog by now. And if you're not cool... then I guess you better run over to drhorrible.com so you can catch up with everyone. But really, I am pretty much in love with this mini movie/musical.

It stars NPH. And Nathan Fillion. And if you don't know who they are... I've lost faith in you. *sigh* Joss Whedon came up with it during the writers' strike, and it is gloriousness. Pure and simple. I've watched it twice in the past three days I think. It just makes me smile.

Now if you haven't seen it, go away and read this when you come back. There are some people who have actually said it sucks. Um, NO. Joss Whedon wrote this thing and called up the people he wanted. And they did it. All on Whedon's cash. I'm not some Buffy freak who worships the ground he walks on. I never really got into the show actually. So I'm not giving you some biased review.

The songs are great. I get them stuck in my head. I even went to download them so I can have them until the soundtrack is released (and yes, it will be). Actually, I'm at the point where I'm not sure if it's the song writing or the delivery that gets me. I heart NPH. I'm a little sad that he's gay. Cuz if he weren't he'd totally be on my list. Every song he does = FANTASTIC. Especially the finale. Excellent and I can't describe it any better than that. Nathan Fillion is perfectly cocky as Captain Hammer. Not to mention he gets the best line ever. I will probably watch it again tomorrow. It's a nice way to kill some time.

So on a completely different note: I'm in love with James Franco in these Pineapple Express trailers. Makes me miss the days when I hung out with potheads. He gets the stupid, vacant look perfectly. I wanna make out with him. But I doubt I'll see the movie. Maybe, maybe, when it comes out on DVD. Because I just don't love Seth Rogen.

So the moral of today's story is: Watch Dr. Horrible. Friend the blog on myspace. And love James Franco in all his stoner fabulosity.