Today

Today is October 4th. No biggie for most of you, right?

Six years ago Tim and I went on our first date.

Not that we're dorks who are going to buy each other presents or anything, but we take note of it. The six years have gone flying by. When I met him I gained one nephew and a newborn niece. Now I have four nephews and two nieces. When we met I was slacking off at City College and he didn't know what exactly he wanted to do. Now I'm in my last semester of school and he has his radiologic tech license.

We actually met online. He was looking to start dating again after staying single because of a few ridiculous relationships (haha, now I can laugh at those stupid cheating brats because I got him!). I didn't even want a boyfriend, I just wanted to find some new people to hang out with. I had almost zero friends my age that lived in town. Plus I was kind of newly single so I just wanted to go out and have fun (my previous ex had been a whiny GIRL). I had even told my mom I wanted to go a whole semester without dating. Then about Labor Day weekend we started talking via email. That went for a while before he asked for my number. We talked once or twice then went to lunch. Wanna know exactly when he fell in love with me?

I opened the front door when he picked me up and he said, "There's spiderwebs on that wreath." (My mom had a twig wreath on the door.) Not missing a beat I told him, "Yeah, Halloween decorations."

Okay, maybe he didn't fall head over heels, but my quickness impressed him. Just ask him. He still loves it.

I'll cut this short because I really doubt all of you want to read a novel about our dating. But lunch was fun. We went to Friday's and Oakland happened to be in the playoffs so I gladly sat and watched baseball. Amazingly I wasn't freaking out nervous. I was instantly comfortable with Tim.

A few more dates (one near disastrous one at the fair that most of my friends have probably heard) and then on Halloween we decided to make it exclusive.

And even though there were ups and downs, I wouldn't change a thing about the last six years.

Help

No, I don't need help. I like to think I can solve my own problems. I'm talking about the help others need/want/ask for and then don't use. You know the type.

"Ohhhh... I think my girlfriend is cheating on me what do I dooooo?"

"I know I should leave him, but I looooove him."

"Everyone hates her, but we're in loooove. They're all haters!"

Yeah, I'm pretty much talking about relationship help. People who make their decisions, question them until someone offers some perspective, then stomp on the good advice they asked for in the first place. It's frustrating isn't it?

It's easy to say these people come from histories full of bad relationships: divorced parents, older siblings that modeled bad relationships, even twisted family members that messed the kids up for life (we won't go into that). But can we really blame their histories all the time? Once we're adults we think for ourselves and make our own decisions, right?

If I look at a car that I want to buy and my dad, brother and best friend tell me it's going to blow up soon, whose fault is it when I'm stranded on the side of the freeway? If I try on a dress that my friend, cousin and even the dressing room attendant say makes me look pregnant, who do I blame when I buy it and get comments from strangers about when I'm due? That's right, it's all my fault.

Now what about the people who gave me this advice? You would think I would listen to them next time, right? Well... what if I don't. Surely I'm the best judge, aren't I?

As one of those "helpers" that sometimes doesn't get listened to, let me tell you it's frustrating. I feel like I'm repeating myself sometimes. Especially with relationship stuff. Now I don't claim to be an expert, but I'd like to think I give good, unbiased advice. Call me crazy, but if he beats you, get his ass arrested maybe you should get on with your life. If he doesn't appreciate you, maybe you should find someone who does. If you guys fight, maybe you should find a girl who isn't nitpicking you all the time.

I'm just tired of giving out what I believe is useful advice just to have it ignored. I don't talk out of my ass, I genuinely listen to the problems at hand and give some outside perspective. Hell, my husband contributes now and then. I almost think we should find a church to get into and do marriage mentoring later in life.

Anywho, I'm rambling. Really this is just a vent about people who ask for help then ignore it. I'm tired of it. I'm going to start charging or something. Yeah... that can be my side job. Relationship counselor. So who wants to be first in line?